Rabu, 14 April 2010

My unforgetable Experience

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Hello... In this occasion I am going to tell about my unforgetable experience.

When I was 8 years old, my parents and I had an accident in Paringin. It happened when we wanted to go to our house in Tanjung. Before I am going to tell the accident, I will tell you that my father is an army. So his job always moved from one town to another town.

When my father’s job in Tanjung, we had a house. We just stayed for four months in our house, because my father must move in Kandangan. My father had been working in Tanjung for five years before he moved in Kandangan. We got Tanjung for two hours from Kandangan. Once a month, my parents and I always went to Tanjung to look our house. Because our house was empty.

On Saturday morning, my parents and I started to go Tanjung by motorcycle. My father rode the motorcycle in 60 Km/hours. We enjoyed our journey. My mother carried me front her and I slept in her hug. Suddenly, in my slept I heard noise. I heard many people screamed. I woke up and I saw my father laying on the road and there were many pain on his body. Many people helped my father and carried up him to PUSKESMAS. My mother approached me. I cried and I saw my mother’s left leg was swollen.

A few minutes later, Police men came. He asked about the accident. Apparently, a man had crashed us. He rode a car and he didn’t keep his concentration when he wanted to go out from a alley. He rode fastly and then crashed us.

The driver was responsible. He took care my father until he recovered. Now, the driver and my parents like a family. He always visits my house and calls my father to know his condition.

I think it was bad unforgetable experience. I hope it will be the first and the last terrible experience in my life. Amen.

6 komentar:

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You did mengatakan...

I'm happy to hear that your father was saved...

Oktavia Setiyawati Nugroho mengatakan...

thank you... Please, give your comment about my grammer...........

elip mengatakan...

waaaaw good writing okta keep in your writing

elip mengatakan...

yeah maybe next time ok

TEACHING, SINGING, OR SLEEPING? mengatakan...

Hi Okta (your nickname is Okta right? Tell me if I am wrong^^)!! I do give my sympathy for your experience. Obviously, you can’t forget it. That was such a terrible experience. Yes, I hope it will be the first and the last terrible experience in your life (amen!!). I am impressed with the ending of your story. It’s good if the driver was responsible for what he did. But, having close relationship like a family with someone who ever made us suffer is rarely happen. So, I think your family not only got bad luck but also good luck at the same time. It’s like what people said “Semua pasti ada hikmahnya”. ^^,hehe

Here, I have few comments on your work:

It is happened when we wanted to go to our house in Tanjung, We were enjoy with our journey.
(happen and enjoy are already verbs, so you don’t need to place -to be before them) 
It happened when we wanted to go to our house in Tanjung.
We enjoyed our journey.

We just stayed for four month in our house, because my father must move in Kandangan.  it should be plural, four months

I woke up and I saw my father lay on the road  I woke up and I saw my father laying on the road

He always visites my house  visit + s = visits, not visites

All in all, your work is already good. Just keep practice, ok!!! See you^^

Oktavia Setiyawati Nugroho mengatakan...

thanks for your comments.............

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